This is a article I found in RELEVANT Magazine that has helped me. I was worried that all the negative emotions that would sometimes resurface meant that I was not forgiving my offender. I believed that because I was not ready to reconcile the relationship that meant that I had not forgiven him. This is not true. Reconciliation and forgiveness are two separate things.
If you are in the same boat, I hope that you gain a little insight from this article.
So when I was in counseling, my counselor helped me to make a list of self-care things that I can do to empower myself. It can be a mixture of short-term and long-term goals that will gradually build and encourage you.
Here are just a few items that were/are on my list:
Has this ever happened to you; The one that you gave your heart to drags you through the mud? They cut you down and put you through the wringer and pull out every tactic they can think of to make you feel so low that you just feel worst than dirt? Maybe it goes further than that and they acutally put their hands on you. Then later they comeback with a few sweet words and an apology, promising they would never do anything to hurt you again? And because they seem so sincere, and because they are trying to be a better person, and because we might have been in the wrong in what we said or did, we take that apology and hold onto it for dear life, hoping and believing that things will actually be different? That just maybe this was it? We would finally reconcile so that healing could begin?
I know it has happened to me.